O Best Beloved

This blog doesn't usually do jokes in Hebrew, mostly because we* don't know the language, beyond one word which will become obvious. I've done Kipling references before.

Dave, and it seems that we can call him that after all, has a pretty trivial column, Dave versus David, today. It's fun because I learned something useful, which I'll quote in a bit, and because he cites Martin Amis writing utter tosh yet again. Henman was, said Amis, "the first human being called Tim to achieve anything at all". Martin is clearly above ever using the world wide web for research.

I once wrote something similar about Nicks. I don't quite remember the occasion for my prejudice, but I had it in my head that Nicks, as they moved into middle age, were archaically boyish and irresponsible, and therefore incapable of midlife fidelity.
... In a ludicrous poll of 1,000 British women recently conducted by an organisation called one-poll.com, the question was asked about which man's name was most associated with genital magnitude. I am glad to say that Nick was number ten in the smallness vote, and even gladder that Jeremy was sixth. Dave, however, was considered to be the name most likely to be connected to an uberputz.

No mention, even obliquely, of the other colleagues he doesn't like: Matthew Parris and Simon Jenkins. He doesn't say how Daniel scored either...

*Me, anyway.