Friday, September 19, 2008


Ahoy, you scurvy dags! It be Interr-national Talk Like A Pirate Day and if you be knowing what's good for youse, you'll be cursing praper in the camments.

Rright, appropriately for Talk Like A Pirate Day, arr, we be talkin' about Arrrr-t. There be these three shipmates, see, and one of them goes on shore leave and he gets blind drunk, as you do, and when he wakes up, he finds he's bought a picture, but the rain must have warshed all the paint orf or something, because the canvas is totally blank ... Oh not that 'Arrrr-t', this Arrrr-t! There be a discussion in the camments to our previous post. Like the Couccous Kid, I be thinking that Charrles Saartchi be more impartant to the carrrerr of Damien Harrst than Nicholas Serota. This be making no sense:

Why are they selling when all around Hirst asset prices are collapsing? The rather magnificent Stuckist movement of figurative artists has a simple explanation: the art establishment in London has been dominated for too long by an in-group which favours only the conceptual art of Hirst and his colleagues.

If a pirate be selling, another pirate must be buying. Whoever this pirate be, they be not in London. They also believe that they have the pieces of eight to invest. "Why are Hirst's works being bought and by whom when asset prices are down and banks don't have the money for this sort of thing?" be a good question. And I agree with Nick that Hirst's work and conceptual art in general be an investment going down to Davy Jonses locker by and by. But Nick's answer is as much use as the Pole Star in a thunderstorm: specifically, it doesn't answer where this money be coming from. Har-Har-Har!

Nick been writin' about Lehman Brothers, but he ain't been writin' about AIG. Like Narrman Geras, Nick be supportin' Manchester United. We think they be right pleased that as socialists (who must love nationalisation) and philo-Americans that their two interests should come together. Take it away, Kevin Drum: It seems that the US taxpayers now own the sponsors of Manchester United. As a pirate, this brings a tear to my eye. 303 million people rabbed on one day. Such criminality be deserving a 21 gun salute. Buckle yer swatches, shipmates, we live in an era of greatness.


Blogger The Couscous Kid said...

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr-onovitch Watch!

9/19/2008 07:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh me hearties. Thar be a new pearls o’ wisdom from that scurvy dog Norrrrrm har-harrrrr. Seems Norrrrrm be upset over the arggument between that jolly jack tar Marrrrtin Shaw and David Hirrrsh. Shiver me timbers, for the life of me, I’ll be buggerrred standing up before I be understanding what Norm be tryin’ to say. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh.

9/19/2008 10:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zounds! The sharks (arrr! The sharks!) and animal pieces are conceptual and the cabinets (Davy Jones's pharmaceutical locker! Arr!) arguably so, but what's conceptual about Hirst's dot pictures or the spins? They're simply abstracts and often rather beautiful ones. The scurvy knave Nick doesn't know what he's on about.

9/19/2008 10:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaaar here be a link to tha greatest pirate that ever sailed tha seven seas.

9/19/2008 10:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I be thinkin that Nick considerrrs all arrrr-t which the aaaartist did not create with their own baaare landlubbing hands be conceptual.

9/20/2008 08:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Norm, he be reckoning that every Israeli tis Jewish, me hearties. Maaaarrrtin's aaarrrgument is that this not be so, and he be right. Aaaarrr.


9/20/2008 10:00:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just finishing up on this, the Stuckists aren't figurative, either. There's a whole load of their stuff that's entirely conceptual, and the movement itself is much keener on issuing manifesti and playing situationist pranks than it is on the details of draughtsmanship and chiascuro.

9/22/2008 09:17:00 AM  

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