Monday, April 03, 2006

Hold your breath ... Nick is labouring mightily

Nick is a taking a month off to finish his book telling the story of how "the Left" which once stood bravely on the burning deck, hand in hand with George Orwell, fell into the hands of the Islamofascists (thanks to multiculturalism and relativism) and stabbed the Iraqi democrats in the back. A sad sad story of where too much cocaine and looking at modern art has led Islington's finest. Readers are invited to suggest a title for Nick's coming masterpiece in comments.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It should be called "bring it on"

An early title was "the michael mooreonification of the left", but he gave that up in favour of "our friends on the left" - I suppose the latter title is an attempt to reach out to the left, rather than just attack it (as in the first)

4/03/2006 09:49:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Decent Into The Abyss"

or taking a cue from other bb:

"I Think It's Fair To Say"

btw, the Euan Ferguson column reference to EF spending too much of his life "putting out Nick Cohen's cigarette butts properly" pretty much lifts the lid on the Observer booze culture; from what I here, NC and EF are mates. EF's column basically has the perennial theme of his being a sloppy drunk, but I think there is a certain amount of self-aggrandisement here (in particular, Ferguson appears to basically be impersonating the lead character in Iain Banks' novel Complicity. So the Private Eye story was a smear but not completely random.)

4/03/2006 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Matthew said...

"There's no point being prissy about this"

ps A miracle! The Word Verification I'm being asked to type in is "AAROFYNP". What can it mean?

4/03/2006 11:07:00 AM  
Blogger Captain Cabernet said...

A pity that Nick's art obsession is with G&G. If he had an interest in Robert Mapplethorpe "Making a Decent Fist of it" would be an option.

4/03/2006 11:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did think on posting on both those themes. I'm struck by the image of Nick, finally finished, leaving the precious single copy of the MS on his desk, a pyramid of smouldering cigarette butts in the ashtray next to it, as he heads out to celebrate ...

I expect the opus will be somewhat similar to Francis Wheen's "When Mumbo-Jumbo ..." That is, ostensibly an attack on the sad decline of the world since the author left university, but illustrated with examples from much earlier. I'll be disappointed if we don't get The Webbs on the Show Trials and the whole sorry litany of attrocities against the Kurds by the Turks. The role of John Pilger in exposing the Khmer Rouge, I imagine will be glossed in favour of "He's a terribly boring Australian with idees fixes, isn't he?"
Will we get Matrix Churchill (as opposed to Matrix Chambers)? I'm not really sure how the left helped arm Saddam before Gulf War I, but maybe the truth can finally be revealed.

The title of course refers to among other things, the great TV series of the 90s, which was itself about betrayals of and by the left, starting with T Dan Smith. Will Nick mention that? Will he mention that two of the principal actors have gone from being angry young men to perhaps the most celebrated establishment roles in British screen acting? And that despite ostensibly joining the establishment, one recently starred in "Munich" which suggested that violence was pointless, and the other despoiled the great British Saturday tea time with an anti-war reference?

4/03/2006 11:36:00 AM  
Blogger Captain Cabernet said...

I'm sure the title "Seven Pillocks of Whigdom" will come in handy somewhere. Who might the pillocks be though?

4/03/2006 12:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

in particular, Ferguson appears to basically be impersonating the lead character in Iain Banks' novel Complicity.

Does that include weird sex games with knives and following a story about top businessmen being knocked off by someone with a grudge? ;-)

Re. possible title: 'Praise Blair and pass me the Bruschetta'? I suspect it'll be more along the lines of 'Useful Idiots I Have Known' in the end

4/03/2006 12:43:00 PM  
Blogger Matthew said...

If his book is much like his columns, I would recommend Harry's Place get some legal advice. Luckily one of them is a lawyer, isn't he?

4/03/2006 01:47:00 PM  
Blogger Captain Cabernet said...

Good point Matthew. The relationship between Nick's column's and Harry's Place is rather like that between The Da Vinci Code and Holy Blood, Holy Grail ... so depending on the outcome of that case....

4/03/2006 02:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If he had an interest in Robert Mapplethorpe "Making a Decent Fist of it" would be an option."

Or "making a decent Fisk of it".

I'll get me coat.

4/03/2006 03:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somewhat off topic, there's a lovely comment here.

Can it be long before you join Aaronovitch at the Times or some other Murdoch rag?

Well done that man.

4/03/2006 04:11:00 PM  
Blogger Simon said...

"At long last, have you Left no sense of Decency?"

4/03/2006 05:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Incidentally, Nick Cohen's book "I haven't got any friends left" will be published by Fourth Estate, a Harper Collins Imprint, I think, and hence a part of Newscorp -so his "the left are evil" book will be paid for by one Rupert Murdoch

4/03/2006 06:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is always pissed

That was the gist of the Eye story. The AW assessment of it is that he likes a drink but there is no evidence he has a problem; after all he does get two columns out a week. Sad to hear that he's had bad news; for what it's worth, one of the bruschettaboys has too.

4/03/2006 09:28:00 PM  
Blogger Sonic said...

How I stopped worrying and learned to love the Bomb(s)

4/03/2006 10:02:00 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

How about 'You're not my besht mates anymore'?

4/04/2006 09:07:00 AM  
Blogger The Couscous Kid said...

Happily, Nick seems to be finding the time to do other things, apart from writing his book, over here.

4/04/2006 04:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saw that Dave. I thought he may have confused you with the late Paul Foot for a minute.

Is there a history to this?

It was very good of you to say nice things about him anyway.

Careful with the Smiths references though, you'll upset David T of Harry's Place.

4/05/2006 10:00:00 AM  

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